Yesterday I attended my five year old niece's Winter festival performance at PS 137 in Brooklyn.It was her last day at that school, as she and her family are now going to be beginning a new part of their lives in Sausalito, CA. We have been "saying goodbye" for weeks now. The packing up of their apartment - where they had lived for 34 years- was unreal actually...i just tried to be a supportive presence in the midst of it all, as i could not possibly figure out what went where. I made clam dip, and danced with Ellie, and packed a couple of boxes, and took Ellie to the park.
Anyway, Ellie was great in her festival...In that gym full of parents and friends and kids and excitement, she was reflective. I watched her experiencing the ending of something she has been a huge part of. She was processing it. She has always been a complex little person...Watching her manage the internal conversation, while so much is shifting in her world, made me aware of how resilient we are really. Ellie was in the moment, and was spending time with her friends, and was drinking in the day. Ellie will be fine. Ellie IS fine.
It was honestly the adults who were analyzing the experience. The adults have experienced losses and so were aware of this as a big moment, in a way which was not real for Ellie. She was at her Winter festival...and she was a spider in her Haitian dance group. She loved her costume, and she loved her friends...And today she is in Sausalito, waking up with the ocean outside her window.
This is the day.This is always the day.